Monday, July 11, 2011

Life is too short

We were enjoying a trip to Disneyland with the kids, my parents and sister to celebrate Hayleigh's second birthday when I got a call from my cousin. Her mom who is my mom's sister had a stroke and was in the hospital. We got home that night and we thought things would maybe be ok with her. The next day we set off to Stanford for Hayleigh to have an appointment with one of her specialist. I left the baby bag outside with my parents and went in to the appointment. While in there a little girl had a horrible reaction to eggs while doing a skin test and they had to call 911. We were inside for about 2 hrs. After the appointment we got some lunch and I checked my phone. Things were not looking good and my aunt was now in the ICU. At that moment, on a sidewalk in Palo Alto it was decided we were all (my parents, sister, the kids and myself) flying home to Trinidad as soon as possible. Things turned crazy as I had a few hours to get the kids packed, their medications and formula and other special needs together. Emotionally we were....well we just were.
It feels as if I have been in a dream since then, more like a nightmare. Life is just to short and sometimes we just can't sweat the small stuff.
Right now things such as me waking 6-8 times a night to feed a baby and toddler, my children not being able to eat food, dealing with EGID's constantly and all the other things just seem to be on the back burner. They should be, because they just cannot compare to loosing a loved one.
The kids each had a few reactions during this difficult time and each had one or two sleepless nights. But how do you keep telling people you don't even know to wash their hands and mouths while trying to be there for your family during times like these? I needed the help, the hands to hold a baby or play with a toddler while I was busy. In the end they were both fine.
Almost a month later the dream seems to continue, but how do family members find the new normal after a loved one has passed? I guess it just happens and life goes on. We somehow find the strength to move forward.